An Unexpected Visit - Part 16

A Royal Wedding - Part 2

Tauriel sat on a sheepskin on the floor in front of the fire with Kíliel in her lap. The girl had finally awoken, and Tauriel spent some time distracting herself from her distress by braiding her daughter's wild hair.

It was her father's hair but for the fiery colour that she shared with her mother. The tangled curls were most certainly dwarvish, and Tauriel smiled faintly as her fingers worked through them. Their daughter was such a perfect blend it was hard to determine which kin she belonged to the most. Her features were dainty, her face both slender and strong, with high cheekbones and full lips, a strong jawline and ears bigger than an elf's, yet more sharpened than a dwarf's. Her skin was as ivory white as any elf's, hairless and soft, but for the long hair beside her ears, which Tauriel had let grow for the practicality of it, and used to braid, as today.

Tauriel tried to free some of the worst tangles of her daughter's wild hair, but Kíliel took no notice of her mother's fingers which were less certain and more rough than usual. She had a higher tolerance for pain than elves, though she was more prone to sickness, as Tauriel had learned only a year before.

Kíliel had gotten «the first year fever» as the dwarves called it, a decease made up of several symptoms, amongst the worst were the coughs and fever, which killed many new-borns. It was one of the reasons why the dwarves had fewer children grow up than any other race. Luckily Kíliel had pulled through, with the help of the best dwarven medicine, as well as Tauriel's own skills, though sickness in general was little known to her. It had been a stressful time for the whole family, and given them even more reason to treasure Kíliel as a miracle.

Now the girl sang quietly for herself as her mother worked through her tangles, without a care in the world. It was a lullaby in Khuzdul about children born of stone.

Tauriel did not think her daughter understood the words, and if she did she did not comprehend the meaning behind them. She was still too young to be touched by the difficulty of her mixed heritage, but it would soon enough become an issue. Tauriel pressed her lips shut as she continued braiding her hair more elvish-like than dwarvish.

Her daughter was the heir to the throne of Erebor, which, by no fault of her fiancé or his family, made them treat her more as a dwarf, but it did not mean that her elvish blood was less important. Tauriel was determined to have her remember that she was also of the woodland kin. The dwarves adored her messy and curly hair, and even as Tauriel knew nothing more beautiful than their daughter, she wished her to look more elvish at times, which meant trying to get some order of her wild hair.

«Where is father?» Kíliel asked and turned her head to gaze up at Tauriel with those big, green eyes that were also given to her by her mother. Her eyebrows and expression were her father's. Sometimes it was like Tauriel could see him so clearly when she gazed at her daughter, and it brought her even more love for the girl whom she already loved with all her heart.

Tauriel knew she was still naught but a babe, even if her speech was already more refined and her eyes more awake than usual for children her age. She did not know exactly how quickly she expected Kíliel to mature, yet she hoped in her heart she would stay young and untouched by the harshness of the world for many decades yet.

Elves were not reckoned mature before hundred years had passed, and dwarves were mature by law at the age of forty though still young until they rounded sixty, so by that estimate she should be mature of growth at the age of seventy. But it was impossible to know for certain.

«I have told you,» Tauriel said and embraced her daughter from behind, hugging her to her chest and caressed her cheek with her hand. «He is preparing for the ceremony, as are we.» A cold stone sank in the bottom of Tauriel's stomach as she spoke the words, though her voice was cheerful for the sake of her daughter.

«Because you are getting married?» Kíliel asked excitedly, her lips stretching in a wide and charming smile that never failed to cheer her mother. The bright smile of her daughter was like sunshine after a cold, dark winter, and Tauriel absorbed the warmth and strength it gave her. She laughed and touched her nose.

«That is right! You are such a clever girl,» She leaned down and kissed her cheek with a warm smile. Kíliel giggled and threw her small arms around her mother's neck, clinging to her. Tauriel put her arms around her daughter and held her tight, feeling her nerves resurfacing as she thought about the wedding.

At that moment there was a knock on the door, and Tauriel froze, holding Kíliel fast in her arms. The girl struggled to get free of her mother's grip, but Tauriel did not let her go. The fear burned in her stomach, yet she did not know what exactly she feared. She knew she could not face Kíli, but what would she do? She had dreamed of this day since Kíli had told her about his feelings for her that night in Rivendell, and now that it was here she felt suffocated. It made no sense to her, and yet she could do nothing to help it.

«Tauriel?» It was Thorin's voice, demanding as ever, and Kíliel squealed of excitement and finally got free of her mother's arms as she ran to open the door for the dwarf she called grandfather, even though he was truly the uncle of her father.

«Look at you, Kíliel.» Thorin laughed and lifted the little girl into his arms, as if she was no heavier than a pillow filled with feathers, as she probably wasn't. She giggled and moved excitedly in his arms. «You look like a fine lady. Have your mother made these?» He tugged softly at one of her braids.

«Mm hm! Do you not know that mother and father are getting married today, Grandpa?»

«Of course I do, little lass.» Thorin chuckled at her excited chatter, then shot a glance at Tauriel. The elf did not look at them. She sat in front of the fire still, her hands around her knees with her chin resting on them. She barely noticed what happened behind her, and Thorin pressed his lips to a narrow line as he lowered Kíliel to the floor carefully.

«Grandma is just out in the hall. Run to her and show her your braids. I'm sure she'll be impressed.» Thorin encouraged her, and the girl laughed excitedly and disappeared from the room. As she had gone Thorin closed the door behind her and took a couple steps into the room.

«What is this about, Tauriel?» He demanded, his voice hard, now that Kíliel had left the room. Though he was planning on being patient with the elf, he wanted her to talk of her troubles so that he might see the problem clearly. And he began with the only way he knew how: «You lock yourself in your chambers, refuse to see your betrothed, my nephew, nor did you open when I, your King, demanded to see you. I had expected gratitude after all the time I spent convincing the council that you were worthy of my nephew's hand, not reluctance.»

Tauriel suddenly felt her insides collapse and she began sobbing desperately, which was nothing less than what the King had expected. He was relieved she was not catatonic. It would also be easier for her to speak after she let she feelings rush through her.

It was not the first time Thorin had dealt with a stubborn, hurting female. When he and Dís had been on the worst terms with each other during their early years in exile, her crying was always what eased her troubled mind and let her tell him of her feelings, not just hide them from him.

«I'm sorry,» Tauriel muttered through her sobbing. Her face was in her hands and her legs were curled up against her chest, while her shoulders heaved with desperate gasps between her sobs. Her entire body shook of the violent crying that the elf had rarely ever experienced before, and it scared her even as she felt the darkness seep out of her mind little by little.

There had been no place for weakness in Mirkwood, nor a need of ever showing emotions that were not expected of her. It was therefore such a shock how she opened up to Thorin, and not just now. Right before her labor he had tricked her to speak of her inner thoughts, and it amazed her. It was perhaps his steady eyes that made him seem like a rock, someone she could lean against and spill her innermost thoughts to, even if it was not her intention. She could not fully explain it.

Thorin walked to the seat in the middle of the room, took the blanket draped over it, and brought it back to Tauriel. He laid it over her shoulders, and she immediately calmed. Her shivers stopped and her breathing came more easily as her heartbeats slowed.

Tauriel glanced up at him as he stood over her. Then she cleared her throat and dried the worst of her tears as she looked away again. She did not know what to say. She was mortified and unsure how to proceed now that her thoughts were clearer.

«What do you want me to do, Tauriel? Call off the wedding?» Thorin pushed her, he knew that, for she could not keep going like this.

«No!» She exclaimed with sudden despair. She gathered herself and spoke more calmly: «I do not know what I want. All I know is that I love Kíli and I want to marry him, but…,» She had a desperate look as she gazed at Thorin. He tilted his head slightly and waited for her to go on. But she did not. Thorin exhaled and sat down in the rocking chair behind her.

«I cannot read your mind, Tauriel. You need to tell me what you want or the wedding will be cancelled, and there will be nothing I can do for you. I am only trying to help, do you not see?» He exhaled with a growl and held a hand in front of his mouth as he closed his eyes and waited for her reply. He closed his hand in a tight fist, feeling her distress as a result that he did not do his duty towards her, that he had let her down as her King and soon uncle-in-law. It equally saddened and angered him. What else could he possibly do?

«Yet you want me to stand in front of your people and abolish the only part left in me that is still elvish.» Tauriel rose suddenly, and the blanket fell to the floor. She stood in front of the fire, the flames painting her outline with bright red colours, making it look like her very skin was aflame. Her eyes were filled with the same flame, stubborn and wild, as she pressed her lips together and met his gaze.

«Why would I want you to do that?» Thorin narrowed his eyes, his voice calm and controlled, though his thoughts raged with anger and disbelief.

Tauriel stood silent for a while, her hand fidgeting in the air as if she thought of something, yet did not know how to speak of it. She spoke through her teeth finally: «Is that not what you want? A final show of devotion, of my love for your nephew and for this kingdom, to show that my daughter is not an elf, only a dwarf?» Her voice was bitter, and yet her eyes were uncertain. «Is that not what this charade is all about?»

«This charade is for my nephew's sake and for the people of Erebor, you are right,» Thorin spoke, fighting hard to stay calm, and Tauriel made it even harder as she scoffed before he was able to finish his sentence. «But not in the way that you imply.» His voice came hard, a thunder putting her in her place, and Tauriel quickly looked away, suddenly ashamed for her forgotten manners. He was after all the King of Erebor.

«Forgive me,» she breathed and turned to face the fire. The warmth was sweet on her skin, and she felt the anger and fear in her slunk away as the calm again gained control of her senses.

«What I mean to say is that…,» Thorin began again after he had regained the control of his voice. «No one asks you to renounce your elvish self, not for Kíli nor this kingdom. This ceremony is for you, for you and Kíli to celebrate your love and let it be known throughout the kingdom. No one shall say it is an illegitimate affair, for it has been accepted by the council, and you are to be rightfully married, as I promised.»

Tauriel pressed her teeth together, the feeling of disappointment over her own accusations filled her whole self. So many times had she misjudged Thorin, and she felt the tears fill her eyes again of her shame. She did not know what to say.

«Don't be too hard on yourself, Tauriel,» Thorin sighed and scratched his forehead while he thought about it all. It was as if he had seen straight through her, and Tauriel watched him with confused eyes. «Had you spoken to me of your distress earlier I would have sent out ravens for any elf you would have liked to have by your side on this day.» He carefully avoided saying Legolas' name in fear that she again would close down, neither did he mention that Fíli had already done what he said. He did not want to give her any false hope, as he himself had little faith that the elf would appear miraculously in time for the wedding, which they were already late for. «I want for nothing but your comfort and happiness.»

Tauriel turned away from him again, pressing her lips shut, her thoughts wandering in amazement and confusion. Her words came softly, though uncertain: «I would never ask that of you. I do not expect you would have been glad to do it.»

«Why do you proceed to think so little of me, Tauriel?» Thorin rose from the chair and walked to her. As she turned towards him, he took her hands in his and caressed them with a soft touch. He placed a hand on her cheek, his brows creased with the sad notion that she did not yet trust him. «Have I not shown you kindness, made you a home here, made sure your daughter has family and love? What more do you need to see that I only wish for your happiness?» Tauriel was speechless, her eyes flashing around the room. She was uncertain of the situation, and she did not know what was expected of her. It was a new side of the King she had not seen before, and so she dared not meet his gaze.

«We have not gotten to know each other though you have lived with my nephew for two years already, and I am ashamed I have not tried harder. I hope we can change that. I hope you can grow to love and respect me as I respect you and your strong mind, when it is not clouded with useless distress.» Thorin smiled crookedly and tightened his hold on her hands for a second.

«I… Will you forgive me, for all of this?» Tauriel breathed, her brows creased upwards with despair as she met his eyes. She shook her head slightly, as if trying to rid herself of all the misleading thoughts. «I do not know what has come over me. I'm so afraid all the time, and I do not know to whom I should speak to about it. I do not wish to hurt Kíli with my troubles for I know he blames himself too much already, and Dís always seeks solutions for everything.» Tauriel smiled faintly, though her despair was still heavy on her mind.

«Talk to me if you wish.» Thorin bluntly suggested, as if it was no strange thing, she relying on him. «I will not take harm of your confessions, nor seek to find solutions for you. I will be here to listen or discuss should you need it, to lift you out of your troubles if they are too deep for you to handle. Is this something I could do for you, to make your life easier?»

Tauriel looked down at him for a moment, then nodded with relief and happiness. «Yes, my King, that I think you could.» As she said these words she felt the weight of it all being lifted from her, as if the very world had rested on her shoulders and only Thorin had been able to take the weight off of them. She laughed suddenly, feeling the excitement for her wedding fill her for the first time. It was so easy, so right.

Looking at the dwarf in front of her who had given her this happiness, a deep love grew in her chest, as it had been brewing for a time, but only now revealed itself. Until this day she had but respected him greatly, feared him even, but now she relied on him. It was a strange feeling, like she stood naked in front of him, yet neither of them were shy of it.

«Then I am at your service, Tauriel,» Thorin said. He smiled warmly at her bowed deeply before her. «Are you ready to get married now?»

«Yes, I am ready to marry Kíli, as I ever was,» and the words did not frighten her any more, only brought her endless amounts of happiness as she felt her chest swell with love for the dwarven king and his kind heart.

«Well, then we should get going, I do believe we have a few wedding guests waiting,» Thorin chuckled and patted her hand excitedly. «But you miss one last thing before you look the bride you are.» And suddenly he turned and walked over to the chest on the opposite side of the room. He opened it and began looking through it. Tauriel was curious, and took a couple of steps towards him as he stood crouching over the chest.

«What are you looking for?» She asked, her voice completely levelled again as the tears were all gone.

«It should be in here somewhere,» Thorin mumbled, not hearing her question as he dug further down, making annoyed, grunting sounds, while muttering to himself.

«Thorin?» Tauriel asked again, and at that moment he found what he was looking for. He exclaimed a pleased: «Ah,» as he held aloft a silver, metal box with beautiful gems and stones decorating the lid and lock on the front. On the top of the lid was a silver plate, and on it runes were engraved.

«Khajima Athanuê, Harabín, habanel kurduê»(A gift for my queen, Harabín, the greatest gem of my heart) Thorin read under his breath. His voice lingered at the name, and Tauriel thought she could see his eyes shine with tears.

She did not understand the words, for the Khuzdul language was complicated and much different from that of the elves. She only knew that the word «Athanuê» meant «my queen» and «kurduê» meant «my heart», so she guessed it belonged to a former queen of Erebor, given to her by her loving husband. Her heart beat loudly in her ears as she anticipated where Thorin was going with this.

«This belonged to my mother, Harabín, the most beautiful dwarven princess of this age,» Thorin explain, without looking at Tauriel. His eyes beheld the box with awe and admiration, his fingers caressing it carefully, with respect. Tauriel walked to him, and stood watching as he activated the lock mechanism by turning on the metal plate.

«I found it when I returned to my parents' chambers after retaking the Mountain. It was buried deep in one of her chests as it had been forgotten during the desolation of the dragon.» A small click was heard as the mechanism turned, and the box opened with another click.

«I had never thought I would see it again.» His voice had a profound tone as he spoke of what, she knew, stood close to his heart. Tauriel's curiosity was still urging her, but she would not rush him, even if her fingers were itching to see what was in the box.

Finally he opened the lid with careful fingers. Inside sat a gleaming mithril diadem with red and green jewels embedded in the front and along the ridge of the crown. It was magnificent to behold and Tauriel gasped as the light bounced off the clear metal and made her elven heart skip a beat.

«It was made alongside with the jewellery promised for an elven lord,» Thorin spoke, his voice controlled even as he spoke of his former enemy. The thought made a chill run down Tauriel's back, as she again thought of how alone she felt with no kinsman by her side, but the feeling subsided quickly as Thorin continued to speak.

«She wore it always, and I remember it as a star upon her brow that would calm me when I was frightened or angry. I was but a young babe at the time,» Thorin smiled at the memories and caressed the diadem in his hand as he put down the box that had kept it safe for so many years. «When I grew older I saw it as a part of my mother, like it held her warm and strong essence, which was why finding it again brought me such happiness.»

Tauriel was breathless at hearing him speak of this. She could not fathom what he was doing with it, showing it to her. It seemed such an honour to simply rest her eyes upon it by his permission.

«That is why I wish you to wear it now,» Thorin gazed up at Tauriel then, causing her mouth to fall open out of shock at such a gesture. «In you I see the strength of spirit, the love you bear for your family and the will to live on, all the traits that I associate with my mother. All she ever did was for the best of her family…,» Thorin exhaled heavily, biting down the pain of his memory. «Had it not been for her neither Dís nor I would have been alive today.»

Tauriel gasped, but could say nothing to resist as Thorin made her bow, so that he could place the diadem upon her head. It was heavy, though fell in place perfectly over her hair and the braided bun that Dís had fashioned at the back of her head.

Tauriel sat on one knee before the King, and dared not gaze up at him for lack of words of gratitude for the grand honour he had granted her with this act. Not until Thorin placed a hand under her chin and tilted her head upwards so that their eyes met, and Tauriel smiled breathlessly, did he understand her gratefulness. He bowed and kissed her forehead before making her rise.

«Now you are beautiful, as the perfect image of both an elvish and a dwarvish bride, you are more than worthy to marry my nephew and bring happiness and honour to our family. Now, come,» Thorin took her hand and lead her out of the chamber, to the corridor where Dís and Kíliel waited for them.

Dís gasped at the sight of her soon-to-be daughter in law, and placed her hands on either side of her face as tears filled her eyes. She kissed both her cheeks and both women laughed happily. She caressed the diadem with careful fingers, remembering it only as a distant image of a dream long since forgotten, and she looked at her brother speechless, with thankful eyes. He winked at her with a clever grin.

Thorin lifted Kíliel up into his arms again, and the girl gasped and spoke excitedly of her mother's beauty. «One day I will be just as beautiful a bride,» Kíliel whispered in Thorin's ear, and he smiled crookedly as he hugged his granddaughter, feeling his chest fill with happiness.

He finally had the happy family he had worked so hard to get. Through all the struggle with his nephews, with the Council, with everything that had stood in their way, he finally felt he could breathe freely, without any more trouble weighing on his shoulders.

«Let us go. We can't ask the dwarves to wait any longer or there will be no witnesses to what I know will be spoken of as the most beautiful wedding of this age,» Dís said and taking Tauriel's hand she led her down the hall, and Thorin followed with the babe in his arms. They were escorted by a band of soldiers, making sure the King, his sister, the bride and her daughter would arrive safely at the wedding.

With dwarven weddings nothing was more important than the bride, and Tauriel finally felt like the bride she was, escorted by the one dwarf she had always feared did not approve of her. Finally she had gotten the assurance she needed, and she was ready to marry Kíli.